The first time I tried a cigarette I was 10 years old. I was playing cards with some family members and I remembering grabbing it from my aunt. Of course, it felt awful and I thought to myself I would never do it again.
Two years later, however, I started paying attention to the colorful packs each time I had to go to buy the newspaper. I learned the names of all the brands available.
One day, I was able to buy a pack at a machine in a bar, even though it had an advertisement that clearly said that tobacco was not to be sold to minors. However, nobody called my attention.
Nonetheless, this adventure was cut short, as I was caught by my sister buying the next pack. The scolding kept me away from trying for many years.
I went back to trying cigarettes, though, once I left home when I was 19. It started as an occasional habit I would only do when partying on the weekends. However, as an adult now, I was being exposed to a more tobacco-prone environment (roommates, college, friends), as opposed to my previous years - neither my parents nor my siblings were smokers (at least not at home).
By age 20, I was smoking everyday and the addiction lasted until I was 30. I was never a heavy smoker and my average daily count was between 5 and 10 cigarettes. I knew I was addicted the first time I wanted to quit smoking and failed. I was still only 20.
Since then, I do not know how many times I tried quitting. Some attempts would last hours or a few days. There were, though, a couple of more successful attempts. One was when I was 23, that lasted 4 months; another one, when I was 25, that lasted 6 months.
Sometimes, I would think if I would ever be capable of staying smoke free; because as easy it felt quitting, it was easier going back to smoking. My experience taught me that you cannot have just one cigarette. If you do, you are welcoming back a nasty addiction. I also learned that it is easier to slip when you drink.
Therefore, if you want my advice: give up the control fantasy, because an addiction can only take you deeper into it; unless you cut it completely off.
On a day like yesterday, exactly a year ago (April 25th, 2014), I quit smoking cold turkey and I could not feel happier. I am very proud of myself and my plan is to continue this way. I want tobacco to be a part of my past. It is not in my present and I definitely do not want it in my future.
I would lie if I said it has been an easy road. At first, you feel like you lost a friend that was keeping you company whenever you needed it and, suddenly, you cannot have it anymore.
But it has not been as difficult as I expected. That is what happens with addiction: fear can be very powerful. It can get to the point where you stop believing in and loving yourself.
I believe the key is to concentrate on the many benefits of quitting. I would love to name a few:
- increased self-esteem
- improved health
- less stress
- more money in your account
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