Stones

Don't bring me flowers, please!

They are beautiful, I know.

But they eventually rot...

If you want to keep my memory alive,

Place some stones, 

So our memories weigh more...

The practice of burying the dead with flowers is almost as old as humanity. Even in prehistoric caves, some burial sites have been found with evidence that flowers were used in interment.

Jew­ish authorities, however, have often objected to this practice. Though there are scattered talmudic mentions of spices and twigs used in burial, the prevailing view was that bringing flowers derives from a pagan custom.

That is why today one rarely sees flowers on the graves in tra­ditional Jewish cemeteries. Instead there are stones, small and large, piled without pattern on the graves.

Stones generally conjure a harsh image. Indeed, it may not seem the appropriate memorial for one who has died. But stones have a special character in Judaism.

In the Bible, an altar is no more than a pile of stones, but it is on an altar that one offers to G-d.

The stone upon which Abraham takes his son to be sacrificed is called even hashityah: the foundation stone of the world.

In fact, the most sacred shrine in Judaism, after all, is a pile of stones – the wall of the Second Temple.

Flowers are surely a good metaphor for life. Life withers; it fades like a flower. As Isaiah says, “All flesh is grass, and all its beauty like the flower of the field; grass withers and flowers fade” (Isaiah 40:6-7). Therefore, one may conclude that flowers are an apt symbol of passing.

But memory is supposed to be lasting. And while flowers may be a good metaphor for the brevity of life, stones seem better suited to the permanence of memory. Stones do not die, do they?

The poem above is a creation of mine, but the article is an edited version of this one.